the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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