why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I will be naked everywhere
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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