I wish life had little blips of pornography
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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