Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
