sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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