Will you blow on my dice?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can you bring me the toilet please
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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