Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
