names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
