Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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