i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
