I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
