only if we run a train.
done.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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