Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
