You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
