absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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