I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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