I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dicks are not precious.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
