Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
