i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
