'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
