either way he was missing a nipple.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
