Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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