i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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