My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
