is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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