Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
