I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
