I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
