Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
