Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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