It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
