Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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