He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
