it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
