Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
