Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
