I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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