Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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