you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
