the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
