Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
