So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
