He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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