Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
