I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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