god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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