would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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