ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
