how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
