Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
