Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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