You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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