so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it because I queefed?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
