We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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