You work out of a Hotel?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
