TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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