I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We are two peas in an std pod
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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