sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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