I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
