Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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