She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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