Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
