And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
