One girl and one boy is just not enough.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
