Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
