Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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