I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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